Time for Mom and Dad

My Bible Study is doing a great book about parenting. One thing we discussed today was the importance of a marriage centered family, not a child centered family. We discussed the importance of doing things so that the children see Mom and Dad as a unified front. We also discussed the importance of not letting all of your actions revolve around the children.

One of the Mom's was worried that taking the children out of the center would be hard to do and would basically just be adding more to her already long "To Do" list.

I will admit that my children are older than hers, so some things are easier for me - no wiping behinds, no wiping drooling chins and no changing clothes of wiggly, little persons.

But, we all talked about the little things that send the message to the children that the family doesn't revolve around them.

So, here are 10 ways in which I think Moms and Dads can incorporate "marriage centered", not "child centered" behavior into daily routines. This will help let the children know that Mom and Dad are boss and lets children see that Mom and Dad time is important and will happen.

1. Close the door to the bathroom and don’t let them come in – this is your time.

2. When you're reading a book – make them wait for you to finish a sentence or paragraph before you talk to them. Don’t let them interrupt you.

3. Same with the phone.

4. Greet husband first and plant a kiss on him. Children need to know you’re not embarrassed or ashamed to show love to your spouse.

5. Just because your children want to use the computer (or whatever the devise may be), doesn’t mean it’s their turn. Letting them see you on the computer (doing banking or blogging or simply playing a game) lets them see you doing something for you – another example of your time. This helps them realize that you don't rely on them for something fun to do. And saying "No, not now" is a perfectly good answer to them wanting a turn at something.

6. Not letting the children have the remote control just because they’re in the room. They need to know you have likes too.

7. Don’t always let the children dictate the choice of music in the car, and have family movie night where Mom and Dad pick the movie.

8. Don't let them get you off track of going to the gym or on a walk. They don't have a say in your leisure time - sometimes they just have to go along too.

9. You pick the toppings on the pizza and let them pick off what they don’t like. Why should you always sacrifice your favorite style.

10. Let the children see Mom and Dad make plans together (for each other or for the family). They will learn a lot from watching you compromise and figure things out.