Proper Use of Kitchen Gadgets

I have the neatest contraption in my kitchen. Imagine your cabinets that are at the floor. This one is a skinny one, not the standard size in width, but the standard size in height. In it, is a spring loaded shelf that holds my food processor. When it is released, the shelf actually swings out and up to create a platform for the processor. It is designed this way so that you don't have to pick up the heavy processor each time you want to use it. It's pretty handy. I think Bryan's Grandmamma (Lila) kept her mixer on it. That's why the cabinet is the standard size in height. Designed to house the tall, skinny mixer.

Well yesterday, I was trying to get a little too domestic. I had a large pot on the stove going boiling peanuts (Bryan's idea, but I was the one cooking them), and I was making some pimento cheese. I was using the cuisinart to shred the cheese - and since the cord is not long enough, I actually removed the processor from it's little platform and had tucked the platform back in the cabinet.

I had most of the cheese grated, but needed the little Cuisinart Plunger to get it down the rest of the way. So I went cabinet diving to try to find it.

Well, you may or may not know that the cuisinart is HEAVY. I would say five to ten pounds. And when it is sitting on this shelf, the shelf pulls out nice and slowly; the weight counteracting the strength of the two springs. When the cuisinart is off of this shelf, the two industrial size springs cause the shelf to travel at about Mach 30.

Well, remember, I had the Cuisinart on the counter at this point, and as I was kneeling in front of the spring loaded shelf. I think I decided that I needed to release it to get it up and out of the cabinet so that I could look under the cabinet with an unobstructed view.

I know that I had both hands on the shelf...one pulling the release, the other bracing to help it come up with some control - since I knew the weight of the Cuisinart wasn't there to help. Well, my bracing hand apparently did nothing except go for a fast ride as the shelf clocked me in the chin.

This caused a tremendous POW! in my head and neck- I actually saw stars - and it knocked me on my back sprawled out in the middle of the floor. I was seeing the underside of the sink's lip.

I was dazed. I took inventory of my teeth, because they felt funny. All there, nothing splintered. My tongue hurt. Is that blood or spit? I can't tell. WOW...my jaw really hurts!
Get up to the sink...spit...minor traces of blood. Wow, my jaw really hurts. The joint in front of my ear is on fire. Crying starts - I'm in pain. Bryan is a bit spooked at this point, because I have said hardly anything except, "my jaw", "my jaw". More crying. I go to move my jaw around and it feels pretty funny. Oh, no - have I broken my jaw?!?!?!? O.K., no. There's pain, but not that kind of pain. O.K....my teeth aren't touching. My jaw feels like it's getting stuck when I try to close it. Is it dislocated? I don't know...man, my jaw! My ear! More crying. Panicked crying. I need to go to a doctor. I say this. My voice doesn't sound right to me....like I have a swollen tongue. But I think it's because my mouth isn't working right.

l hear Bryan call his Mom. I am still crying - in pain and in panic. I notice that as I'm crying, my mouth is staying open and I feel the need to cover it with a cloth - I say again (o.k. cry hysterically) to Bryan...I think I may have dislocated my jaw. The look on his face is horrible. He looks at me, and doesn't see anything that looks out of place. This is Good. Bryan's mom is here in what seems like record time. Did she run?

Man, my jaw hurts!
My ear hurts!
More crying.

I decide that I need to try to move my jaw - is it really dislocated? Can't be.

Well, its range of motion stops when it's not supposed to. I then realize that I definitely know it's NOT broken - the pain would be too intense otherwise. And this is just weird pain - not collarbone broken pain. I don't know if my jaw is really dislocated or not, but now I feel like I need to move it because it feels like it needs to crack - like a knuckle. So I try moving it. It pops and slides a bit. We get in the car and head for a medical center - a privately owned ER type place that doesn't allow ambulances.

About half way there, I realize that the pain is subsiding a bit. This is good. However, my head is killing me. And my neck. And my ear. So, this is what it's like to punched in the face!

By the time we're at the medical center, the pain is mostly gone...just dull aches everywhere. Including my back and butt. Must be from when I hit the floor. Dr. Brian (not Bryan) says things feel fine. We do x-rays - nothing broken. Jaw is in place. I may be sore. Don't chew gum. Be easy chewing. Take ibuprofen (I turned down the prescription pain meds - I have children to be coherent for), etc., etc.

Still not sure if my jaw was actually dislocated - there is no swelling of my face. This is the only thing that makes me wonder - all of the rest points to dislocation. Could have been a partial movement out of place I guess. Could be the force of the blow just sprained the tissue surrounding the joint. At any case, it hurts when I begin chewing, and when I am at the height of a yawn it hurts and feels peculiar. My teeth still aren't lining up quite right, but at least they touch now. I also still have a mean headache and my ear feels like I'm getting ready to get an ear ache. But it's 6:30 in the morning, and it's time for some more ibuprofen.

I'm very lucky that this thing hit my chin, not my teeth, or my nose. That would have been a true trauma. The hit on the chin just made for a good blog for my Momma to read.