Today used to be a day that I watched for on the calendar. Watched for it. Waited for it to. And dreaded its arrival. The whole month of February used to cause me lots of stress (for many reasons that happened in a succession of years after the thing that happened on the 21st).
20 years ago, the 21st was a Tuesday, I believe. I was at college and was getting ready for a 4 way mixer (2 sororities and 2 fraternities)...it was going to be a blast - we even had a t-shirt printed for this one! I had eaten dinner and went back to my room to primp. My mother called. We chatted about the goings on of the day, and the Mixer that awaited me that night. Her call waiting beeped, and since this was the days before caller ID, she decided to let me go get finished with my party preparation and go see who was calling on the other line. So we said our "I love you's" and went about our ways.
I arrived at the party, began drinking some beer (not quite legal, but I was close enough know one said anything), dancing and taking pictures with my friends with the "Flash" (photographer) who was there. The party hadn't been going for too long when someone told me that Bryan was looking for me.
Now this took me by surprise, because we weren't mixing with Bryan's fraternity. Why in the world was Bryan here? This was really odd. They wouldn't let him into the party because he was not an invited guest, so I had to go the front for him. The look on his face was very serious. My mind kept wondering why he looked so seriously serious. We hadn't been arguing, no fighting, but my mind kept wondering why in the world he was picking a mixer as the appropriate place to break up with me. And what had happened for him to even want to break up with me?
I simply couldn't get my mind around it. Plus, I had just started catching a buzz, he was going to ruin that for sure.
So, as I get to the front, show him my surprise at him being there, and then try to get him to come into the party, he gently tells me that he needs to talk to me. I say o.k., let's talk. To which he tells me we should probably go outside. He's being very tender, not at all like he's getting ready to dump me, but my mind is still on the "what is he going to do, dump me?" train of thought.
So we go to the parking lot, and he somehow tells me (this is kind of blurry) that my dad has had a heart attack and that we need to go home.
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Wait. Did he just say that my dad had a heart attack?! I was just on the phone with my mother and she didn't say anything (turns out that call waiting was the frantic phone call from a collegue of my father's that they had called 911 because they thought he was having a heart attack). Why would Bryan know and not me? Is Dad alive? When did this happen? How am I going to get home? Do I need to call my mom? Where is my mom? Is my brother with her?
Oh, so many questions. And Bryan didn't know how to answer them. All he could say is that my mom had called and needed him to come get me so that I could come home. At the time she called Bryan, Bryan thought Dad was alive. But I could tell he wasn't really sure.
So somehow I find myself back in my room on the phone trying to reach my my mom. I somehow get to the CICU waiting room. I don't recall how I got the information to even get the number to that phone or how I even knew which hospital to call. Bryan may have had that information. Before I can actually get to Mom, I remember that my Godparent's answered and told me that he was alive. They asked me how I was and then passed the phone to my brother. I knew I would get the straight scoop from him. He was 4 years younger than me and a Junior in High School at the time.
Joe sounded awful. Simply awful. He told me that Dad was alive. But when I asked if I needed to come home (tonight or could it wait until tomorrow), without hesitation he said that I had to come home RIGHT NOW.
Oh no. I don't even remember if I got to talk with mom or not. Everything got really blurry.
My mind started racing. I had a lot to get together so that I could get on the road ASAP. Bryan has said he would drive me ...I didn't need to be driving. Not only because I had recently had a few beers, but because it was late and it was a 4 hour drive to get home. I had to let my roommate and suitmates know that I was going home and that I didn't know when I would come back. Oh, and that I also wouldn't be attending our Sorority's formal in Atlanta this weekend.
I think I finally got home somewhere around 4:00 am. And when I say home, I mean the hospital. The 4 hour ride hadn't taken quite that long - Bryan had a good lead foot. Don't forget that 20 years ago was before all college kids had cell phones (it was even a big deal for parents to have cells at this particular time), so during this long ride home I had no updates on Dad's condition. Had he gotten better? Had things turned sour? Or had he really been dead this whole time and no one wanted to tell me over the phone?
I had no idea what the news was going to be when I arrived at the hospital.
I found my way through the maze of halls and up to the CICU, where the waiting room was full of loved ones. I think Momma and Joe were in the room (but they could have been somewhere else at this particular moment in time). I think my Godparent's were in the room. But I really don't remember who was there. I think it was Joe that I saw first. I think I burst into tears. Please, someone tell me if my Daddy is still here! That was all I could think.
I was relieved when I found that he was still with us. And apparently doing fine. I think there were more tears. The nurse found out that I was "the patient's" daughter, and she broke the "only every 4 hours" visitor rule and let me go in to see Dad. Mostly because Dad had been asking a lot about me. He was worried about how long (and how late) Bryan and I were on the road, and she knew it would ease his stress level (which would be good for his heart). So, the wonderful nurse let me in the see my Daddy.
My mom was the true Steel Magnolia. She did all the right Mom things. Hugs and kisses and lots of reassurance that Daddy was fine. She also warned me about all of the hoses, tubes, needles and machines that Dad was hooked up to. She didn't want me to be alarmed. She also cautioned me that I needed to be careful if I hugged him because his chest was burned from the 11 (yes, that was ELEVEN) different times they had to hit him with the defibrillator to keep him from leaving us.
Holy Cow! This was a much bigger heart attack than I was thinking it was.
So as I enter the room, I am relieved to see Daddy smiling at me. I think we're all a bit upset, but I was trying very hard not to be crying when I went into his room. I didn't want to upset him (most of you know what a great crier I am).
And Mom was right, there were more tubes, hoses, cuffs, and beeping machines than I had ever seen in anyone's hospital room before. And it was HOT in there. They had apparently pumped so much blood thinner in Dad, that at this point, his blood was running ICE. I swear it was every bit of 80 degrees. And even under about 4 thermal blankets he was still shivering.
Of course I hugged and kissed Daddy. Deep inside I was kind of afraid to touch him, I don't want to hurt him, or knock covers off of him and make him cold. He and Mom showed me how strong his heart looked on the monitor. He showed me where all of the monitor leads were hooked, and the bruises and burns on his chest (while kind of laughing I might add). And mostly he just looked like my dad. Only he was hooked up like he was in an ER-type TV show.
And then it hit me. I almost lost my Dad. I could have arrived and found my dad not here. At this point I had been running on adrenaline since about 9:00 or 10:00 (whatever time it was when Bryan came to get me). And the adrenaline decided to turn in to a rush of relief. And this rush decided to come over me as I stood there in Dadd's room. And I almost passed out.
That's right. I was trying not to stress out Dad, and here I go, almost monkey-ing in his room. I'm going to blame it on the heat in there. Did I tell you how hot it was in there? After I got a cold cloth (and I think some smelling salts, but I may be remember a part of a different hospital room story that I'll try to remember to write about later), I got myself together enough to try to keep it light and laugh at myself so that Dad wouldn't have to be worried about me of all things. And that's when I tried to have a moment of comic relief. And that's when I outed with, "Daddy, you know if you had done this 24 hours earlier, I could have saved the $6.00 I spent today at the Laundry Mat." (of course meaning that I could have brought all of that dirty laundry home instead.) I think it worked - we all laughed.
And that is what we still all laugh about today. Although today almost went by without me calling Dad. I actually saw him today and forgot to tell him Happy February Birthday. And when we did talk, he reminded me that next year he'll be legal. Good Ol' Dad!
20 years after a major heart attack, with no other cardiac events to follow, is a pretty big milestone I say. Along the way, he stopped smoking, was invited to DC to receive the Ecotrin Heart Award a few years later (the actual award was an amber colored, Bacarat crystal heart), and has lived to see both of children get married and become parents.
Happy February Birthday, Daddy!
(And if anyone wonders the reason for the heart attack...in short, an allergic reaction. To drinking non-stop coffee and smoking non stop packs of cigarettes as he got through the long hours of working around the clock to keep a television station on the air - and equipment repaired in it - after Hurricane Hugo hit in September, just a few months before.
It was so much nicotine and caffeine that he had basically saturated his body and his heart finally had an allergic reaction to all of it. No blockages. No bi-passes. Just no more nicotine and no more all day caffeine.)